the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
