im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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