im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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