I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
