can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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