It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's blow job season.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
