I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
