Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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