I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
