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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dibs.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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• (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

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• (310): View more from California

  I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the result of growing up in the '90's

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• (214): View more from Texas

  You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me

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