I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
