Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
