I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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