go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
