this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
