I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
