covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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