hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drake has all the answers
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
