oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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