you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
