We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
