Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
