I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
