I think my fart just growled at me.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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