Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize