dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
