Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Enjoy the penises
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
