Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
