If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
