I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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