maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
