Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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