I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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