they need to just BURY HIM!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
