I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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