just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
