you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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