Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
