nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
