i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
