JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
