I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She even gives head with a lisp.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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