Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
