That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
