Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
