my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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