just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
