You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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