i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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