we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
