As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
