haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
